The Book of Jones

So, lot's of people have been asking me about traveling around SE Asia (Vietnam / Cambodia / Laos). I guess I might as well post up some general advice / feelings I have on the subject. Here it goes: The question:

"My new friends and I are hoping to do a 10 day trip to southeast Asia. We were targeting the three countries of your trip last winter break. Do you have any advice for me as far as where to go or what to do? I think we want a good blend of city and beach life. I also am wondering if we only have ten days if it is worth it to go to all three countries or if Laos could be skipped without regret."

My response:

"I would say skip Laos. It's really cool, lots of Buddhism, very undeveloped (like completely undeveloped). Lots of drugs, which means lots of narco-tourists, so can be a little sketchy. But also lots of rich older tourists, so its an interesting blend (heroin junkies and fortune-500 ceo's in the same guesthouse). I would also say skip phnom penh - it's really fucking sketchy. Lot's of sex tourists and narco tourists, which is a little scary.

Angkor wat is awesome (near Siem Reap), and I would recommend that above anything else. Try to spend 3 days there, if possible. It's absolutely incredible. And make sure to go at sunrise to Angkor Wat (the most famous temple) - it's totally empty except for monks, and is one of the most incredible experiences I've ever had.

Vietnam was cool. I'd really encourage you to go to Hoi An, Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh city. All are really cool - Hanoi is an ancient city, pretty well preserved old quarter. Stay in a guesthouse in the old quarter - the rest is a pretty bland 3rd world city, although there are cool places to go (the opera quarter is really cool). Hoi An is in the middle of Vietnam, and is totally amazing. It's an old trading port, and is absolutely beautiful (preserved french buildings, all crazy bright colors). If you go, bring designs for clothes you like, or even just pictures of anything you see that is crazy expensive but really cool - they can make it for basically nothing (and probably better quality).

Ho chi minh city is cool also - very developed and modern, in comparison, but still maintains a french flair in places.With vietnam, definitely check out the weather forecast beforehand - it's always warm somewhere and rainy somewhere else. If it's supposed to be nice, definitely go to Phu Quoc (about a 45 minute flight from Ho Chi Minh City). Its a really gorgeous island off the coast of Cambodia (but part of vietnam). Not much to do there, but its a nice relaxing beach-type trip."

Some other thoughts / comments: I really liked Phnom Phen. It was grungy and sketchy, but it kind of reminded me of Cloyne, if Cloyne was a full city. Dirty, run down, definitely had seen much better and much worse days, but still had a charm about it.

My remarks about the people are in reference to the backpackers there - too many people lusting after some anarchic paradise on earth. I guess that's some people's deal, but it can be a little creepy if that kind of thing scares you.

The only thing that really disturbed me about the particular area I was staying in were the few older Australian / American men I saw with young Khmer girls (like 13 young). That was kind of frightening, in a really jarring sense. Definitely the one memory of my trip I would rather forget, although it made the issue of sex trafficking that people like Nicholas Kristof talk about much more meaningful. I have no idea what I could personally do to help on the issue (I attempted to take a picture of one of the people I saw, but my camera took to long to start up -> the US/Australian and maybe other embassies will accept photos of these guys and arrest them when they land back in their home countries).

On the topic of narco-tourists, I was pretty shocked by the openness of drugs in Cambodia and Laos. Not in the sense of walking the street and buying stuff, but having random restaurants, bars or taxi/moto drivers try to push stuff on you. I can't even count the number of times I was offered something, ranging from heroin/opium to cocaine, mushrooms and marijuana. For example - there was a chain of restaurants in Cambodia called "Happy Pizza," whose claim to fame was pizza made with weed butter. The really amusing part about it is that they looked like one of the most corporate shops around - one of the few chains I noticed in the country (they unsurprisingly had an outlet in every backpacker locale).

On a somewhat related note, Laos had some absolutely amazing art / artifacts on sale at the night market in Luang Prabang. Example: a 2 foot long elephant tusk, carved with an intricate city scene all along both sides. The purpose? It was an elaborate antique opium pipe. I definitely was tempted to buy one, except for the two slightly small problems that it was (a) a drug accessory (b) ivory. I was pretty sure it was very old (so whatever elephant it belonged to was long gone, and the purchase wouldn't support killing more elephants), but nonetheless purchasing it would have been very illegal (or, at least, importing it). I can't really emphasize how beautiful this thing was, though. It was so above and beyond anything I've ever seen in a museum, and yet it was sitting on a piece of cloth, beside maybe 10 others like it (although all unique), in the middle of a night market on the main street.

Laos and Cambodia, and Vietnam to a lesser degree, had such an incredible feeling of being unspoiled by the tourist trade. Which was really what I was craving, beyond anything else. I really can't wait to travel again, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to take a month off and just wander around in the near future.

Mango Sorbet:

• 7 mangos (~ 2L of puree)
• Juice of 4 lemons
• 1000 ml water
• 1000 g sugar
• A pinch of salt
• 4.5 tsp egg replacer + 4.5 tbsp water (equivalent of 3 eggs)

Recipe: Peel & pit mangos. Puree resulting flesh until it resembles pudding (about 1 minutes per blender-full). Mix water and sugar to form enough sugar syrup to equal half the volume of the mango puree (sugar syrup is approx. 1 gram sugar per 1 mL water). Add the sugar syrup to the mango puree. Juice the lemons and add the juice. Add a pinch of salt. Mix well.

Place this mixture in the freezer and let sit until ice starts to form. You should stir the mixture approximately every 30 minutes - the goal is to keep large ice crystals from forming, thus maintaining a smooth consistency.

Once the mixture resembles a slushee, add in the egg replacer mixed with warm water. You'll want to make sure the egg replacer is mixed very well and that there are no chunks floating around - I found that it was easiest to mix thoroughly by shaking in a jar. Otherwise it would still have a chunk or two on the bottom. Add this fake egg gunk into the sorbet slushee and stir until mixed. Place this concoction back into the freezer and let freeze overnight.

Yield: ~3 L (~ 3 quarts)

Active Time: 1 hr labor + 2 hours of hanging around

Ready after: ~12 hrs after you put it in the freezer

Comments: Turned out well. Froze a bit hard, but that might have been the placement in the upper right part of the freezer. I keep forgetting that that part is way too cold. Also, a tad sweet. The mangoes were super ripe, so I'm guessing this had something to do with it. Next time I'll reduce the sugar a bit and add more egg replacer - so the sorbet is smoother and less sweet. I might try making a non-vegan batch with real egg whites to see if that helps. My vegan sorbets thus far have been somewhat disappointing texture-wise.

Cherry-Lime Sorbet:

• 12 limes (~600 ml of juice)
• Juice of 1/2 lemon
• 900 ml pureed cherries (~2 lbs fresh)
• 1800 ml water
• 800 ml sugar
• 4.5 tsp egg replacer + 4.5 tbsp water (equivalent of 3 eggs)

Recipe: Zest 2 limes in a bowl. Wash, de-stem & puree the cherries in a blender. Juice the limes and combine the juice & puree with the lime zest. Mix the water & sugar to form a sugar syrup & add to the lime/cherry concoction.

Place this mixture in the freezer and let sit until ice starts to form. You should stir the mixture approximately every 30 minutes - the goal is to keep large ice crystals from forming, thus maintaining a smooth consistency.

Once the mixture resembles a slushee, add in the egg replacer mixed with warm water. You'll want to make sure the egg replacer is mixed very well and that there are no chunks floating around - I found that it was easiest to mix thoroughly by shaking in a jar. Otherwise it would still have a chunk or two on the bottom. Add this fake egg gunk into the sorbet slushee and stir until mixed. Place this concoction back into the freezer and let freeze overnight.

Yield: ~6 quarts

Active Time: 1 hr labor + 2 hours of hanging around

Ready after: ~12 hrs after you put it in the freezer

Comments: I didn't mix the egg replacer super well for some of this, so there are a few stray chunks. Real egg whites are definitely easier to use, but I'd rather keep things vegan (except for the white sugar, but we'll ignore that). This might be better with more cherries and less limes, but keeping the ratios of water-sugar-solids consistent is kind of a pain. I need to write a program to handle this for me (perhaps a dashboard widget? that would be kind of cool).

Non-Vegan Lime Sorbet:

• 20 limes
• 1 lemon
• 5 cups water
• 6 cups sugar syrup (5 cups sugar mixed into 4 cups water)
• Whites from 4 eggs

Recipe: Zest 4 limes into a bowl. Add the juice of all 20 limes and the 1 lemon. Add the 5 cups water and 6 cups sugar syrup. Stir for a bit (until everything is mixed well). Place this in a plastic container (the 6 qt buckets work well), and put in the freezer (if you leave it uncovered and in the top right where the freezer vents cold air it freezes faster).

Remove & stir approximately every 30 minutes. Once the mixter has turned pale white and slushy, crack the 4 eggs & remove the whites, then beat the whites until they are smooth and a tiny bit frothy and stir them into the sorbet. You'll want to get them mixed in really well, as they stop the sorbet from freezing too hard.

Put this back into the freezer. Let freeze overnight. If you stir occasionally the sorbet will be smoother, but it should be ok at this point either way.

Yield: ~4 quarts

Active Time: 1 hr labor + 2 hours of hanging around

Ready after: ~12 hrs after you put it in the freezer

Comments: This tastes like frozen limeade. I'm tempted to cut back on the sugar or add more lime zest. I'm planning on making a cherry-lime sorbet next week, so I'll see if this offsets the sweetness to the right degree.

Alternatively, maybe I should try a more raw sugar to give it a less overpowering sweet taste (sucanat & lime might result in a whiskey-sour tasting sorbet, although the proportions for the sucanat might be a bit weird. Not to mention the prohibitive price of 5 cups of sucanat).

Wow. So, if you've ever read / watched The Beach, you're probably familiar with the notion of finding the last undiscovered / unspoiled beach in se asia. I've spoken to a lot of backpackers who've been in se asia for the last 20 years or so, and they rave about how thailand was "before all the fucking tourists." They all spend time on the beaches of cambodia (but "not that tourist hive sihanoukville" - although it is supposed to be nice, just not up to the avant-backpacker level), but a few have mentioned phu quoc.

And, oh man, phu quoc is amazing. Its like what hawaii might have been 60 years ago - white sandy beaches, reefs 20 feet off the beach, cheap as fuck bungalows everywhere (right on the water). Next winter I'm seriously considering just spending it here - getting dive certified sometime this spring / summer, then getting a moto & a bungalow for a month. It would probably cost around $20-$30 a day ($12 for the bungalow, $4 for the moto, the rest for food & drinks). Seriously - I'm glad I didn't come here in the beginning as I was originally planning - I wouldn't have left.